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Chaos everywhere!

I am sure everyone around the world knows India for the diverse culture people live in, its growth & development, the ever booming Bollywood and of course the tourist attractions from Kashmir to Kerala, Goa to Sikkim, Rajasthan to Assam and the never ending list. But India is also known for its poverty, crook set of politicians and of course the undeniable corruption. Corruption in India is like ancestral property, passed on from one generation to the other. And very few people stand against it, because nobody wants to pay a heavy price for being honest.

While we all crib and whine about corruption and the corrupt politicians nobody has the guts to stand against it. But recently one man took a stand and is trying his best to a put a full stop to corruption and its menace that people have been bearing for years and years together. Anna Hazare is the man behind the popular Jan lokpal Bill to be passed in India. While the media blew his 13 day fast out of proportion, obviously they were getting great TRPs (television rating points), people were joining the crusade and voicing against corruption in their own ways. Government was under tremendous pressure and last it gave into Anna’s staunch demand and is willing to pass the Jan Lokpal Bill. So I would say hurray to Anna Hazare 🙂

Mumbai was just out of the 26/11 terror attacks, when yet another bomb blast occurred on July 13, 2011. There is no place in Mumbai that is less crowded or not busy. Innocent people have to pay the price for the insensitive behavior of these terrorists. And then Miss Barkha Dutt goes on to say, ‘Spirit of Mumbai’. Reporting live from NDTV – Mumbai, “people are back to normalcy. The daily routine doesn’t stop. The local trains are moving and people are back on their feet resuming work and the regular life”. I mean does it even make sense to say such things, when you know people have no choice at all. They cannot accommodate fear, least they will have to sleep hungry! All we hear from the government is that “measures are being taken and we are doing everything possible to ensure people’s safety”. But honestly we are yet to see those measures in actions

Barely 2 months after Mumbai blast, we hear the news of Delhi blast. Feels like safety is not our right but an obligation that government bestows on us. Kasab is still enjoying 3 meals a day and the safety, infact high security from our country. I fail to understand what is the government waiting for? If all this while he hasn’t revealed any information about his group of terrorists, I have my doubts if he will give into the pressure any time soon.

With so much of chaos around, I feel that the animal world is much better than ours. They at least know and live by the rule of survival of the fittest. God has given humans brain & intelligence which we utilize worse than animals. How can humans be so insensitivity and cold blooded that another human life hardly matters. I don’t know what kind of future and life will I give to my child ( though I don’t have one now) with so much of spite in the minds or people!

In the words of Rabindranath Tagore, ” Where the mind is without fear, and the head is held, Into that Heaven of Freedom my Father, let my country awake”.

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Posted by on September 30, 2011 in Anna Hazare, Mumbai, terrorism

 

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misS 21st centuRY!

So what answer do you get when you ask yourself, am I a 21st century girl/woman? Of course YES is the instant answer like the instant coffee,piping hot and refreshing in the initial few sips…..but then as you reach somewhere mid-way it gets colder and bitter. Even the greatest coffee lover in the world cannot deny it. Well this is the thing with most (if not all) 21st century women. The fact that we are bestowed with best education, are given the liberty to make choices, decisions are at our disposal etc., gives the boost to engrave in our minds and hearts that we are the 21st century woman. But then what I wonder at times is what defines being  a 21st century woman? Good education, freedom of choice, adapting the western culture, being able to smoke and booze and yet not be judged by the society or people surrounding us or walking back home late at night with no fear of being molested or raped? Or yet a level below, not being beaten up by your drunk or conscious husband/ boyfriend (educated men included), not being sold to brothels by father, brother, uncle or husband,  or being modern and yet keeping the traditional ties intact. Honestly I am confused!!!

Rape, dowry deaths, suicides due to in-laws harassing may sound primitive, but they still make headlines in our daily dose of news and very much exist in large numbers in our society. What we call a modern day life has lead to in increase deaths due to depression, loneliness, stress and pressure. Something astonishing that I read a few days ago was about the increase in the number of suicides by young and successful models. They define what we call the modern day, independent girl/woman, living life at the edge. But in the glaring lights of fashion and glitterati, they are all lonely beings who live in dark holes where drugs, cigarettes and alcohol are their  only friends and their path to solace! Very unfortunate indeed.

While fashion and glamour world is an extreme example of a girl’s modern life, there is something in between that exists which is equally dangerous and terminal. Its like cancer that crawls inside one’s body for a very long time and then finally kills the person. Most of us lead our day to day lives very normally without even realizing that something of this sort exists. As a woman, she is expected to be great at multi-tasking. Gone are the days when woman took pride in being homemakers. Today women live by ambitions, and dreams to make it big. But that doesn’t giver her the liberty to be a mediocre at managing things at home. Maids these days are not easy to get and even if you manage to get one, they are definitely far more demanding than you would be at your work place. What I fail to understand is the fact about women being constantly judged. Judged by parents – (is this seed going to reap fruits?), colleagues ( eg- who said a girl wearing short skirt is trying to seduce men at work or trying to get an easy promotion?), critiques – (Will Mamata Banerjee be able to transform or reform Kolkata? ) husbands – (if a wife does not manage her career and house equally well and pleases his parents and relatives she is not a good wife or is not as good as his mother.)

Success doesn’t come in handy, one has to strive and struggle to taste success. And for today’s woman I guess, it definitely comes with a lot of SACRIFICE, STRIVE & STRUGGLE.

While nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it is going to be this hard!!!

 
 

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Sex & Marriage!

Oh yes, it reads correct- SEX & Marriage. Well not that we are unaware of the facts of life, but ya there are doubts we all have. And this question mark expression on my brow for sometime now lead me to brood and  finally write this post. We graduate, from crushes to puppy love, flirting, dating, falling in love and then finally getting married. But then as we grow out of one phase & grow into another, what defines it as ‘the ok or alright thing to do in that phase’?  I have of course gone through all of these stages and have entered the sacrament of matrimony and decided to settle with it.

But what I wonder more often than just accepting facts is, what expectations do men and woman have from marriage and specifically from Sex? I know how it feels during the different phases in life whether it is kiddish, stupid, foolish or even conniving. And hearing this from most of my female pals, that when you outgrow your puppy love or dating phase, you feel so stupid about what you did, I think we all learn only when we experience what is wrong or incorrect or maybe realizing there is a pit only after falling in it. Well  after a certain age when you mature enough and realization descents upon you, you grow wiser and become prudent. Experience is the mother of all the gyan (speeches, counseling etc)  that people in the world give and many pen it down and publish it making it best sellers as well. But do normal people like you and me go by what we hear, read or watch? I don’t think so. Situations vary so do people and their perspective about life.

And that’s precisely why I chose to write about sex and marriage. For most women (not all of course) marriage is the epitome of love and commitment.  It is a different & new life altogether, where she would feel secure, taken care of, be independent yet depend, in short give her a new lease of life. Well it is not the case with men (has never been from Adam’s time). For most men, marriage is another goal in life which is achieved by losing his freedom to a woman. A compatible sex partner and a girl who will make his house a home and of course take care of all his needs, while he earns max part of the bread. Though this is the generic stuff, there is lot more to do with sex after marriage. Not that people wait till marriage to indulge in the act, it becomes more of the thing to do when the man hits the bed. I may not be cent percent right here. But in the recent past came across a lot of such incidents that lead me to think why do men keep emotions at bay while making love, or consider sex as the ultimate form of pleasure?

A couple of months back my best friend (who had a love marriage) gives me the good news that she is pregnant. And since they had planned the baby, she was very excited and happy to welcome the baby. So was her husband. My friend is a prankster and so she thought of playing a prank on her husband. She told him that their doctor has asked her to refrain from sex till the time their baby is born. He was literary shattered. He was extremely disturbed and was not able to concentrate on work. After 2-3 days he told my friend to go for a second opinion and see if they could have sex at least till the 5th month which is the normal thing. She laughed and laughed and then told her husband that she was just playing a prank on him and it would be ok till the 5th month. I too laughed when she told me this, but then I was wondering, shouldn’t the husband be ok with it, if the mother and baby’s health is going to be at risk?

Yet another friend of mine called me and was weeping and weeping (not that I am an agony aunt, just that I become good listener if some1 is in trouble). I was obviously wondering what had happened till she told me that her sister’s husband was having an affair with someone while her sister is 7 months pregnant. I was shocked and had no clue what to say. I just couldn’t believe my ears, because I know this guy and he seemed to be the most sweet and understanding & responsible guy. I dint know what the hell was he doing sleeping with another woman when his wife was due to give birth to their child in 2 months.

A good friend of mine married this guy against her parents’s wish. The guy seemed to be good, decent and responsible. Was doing well for himself and above all loved my friend to death. So we all supported her and they got married. A year later they had a baby boy and both were very happy till the guy got a better opportunity and had to move to another city to pursue his career. My friend was not in a position to quit her job and move with him, since the baby was just a year old, and thus decided to stay back in their hometown. He come once a month to visit her and their baby and things were going fine till one day she got to know that he was having an affair with his colleague. Apparently the guy never told anyone that he was married and had a baby. My friend was shattered and dint know what to do as she could not even tell her parents about it and friends were her only comfort. I was extremely disturbed and upset seeing my friend with a 1 year old baby go through this turmoil.

I quoted these examples and have heard and seen many more incidents where infidelity wrecks marriage and if not all the time but most of the time it is men and the sex. Is sex so important that people leave their morals and become selfish enough to forgot everybody who’s lives are involved along with theirs?

I have often heard my male friends and men say that it is not only difficult but impossible to understand women. But I have a question here, how is the importance of sex for men justified and how easy is to understand men with such immoral and selfish behavior?

 
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Posted by on August 3, 2011 in emotions, life, love, marriage, men, sex, women

 

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At my first job!

This word first has so many dear and fond memoirs attached to it. First day at school, first day in college, first crush, first love, first cellphone and then when one enter the big world of corporates – First job. Well when most of the teenagers are in college they look forward to entering the corporate world and earn their livelihood, thinking wow such an independence and power to spend!

It is inevitable for any youngster in today’s highly competitive era to take up a job and have career plans, unless one has a fortune left behind. But even in that case I think the present generation dictate their lives and live by their own rules and norms, which I think is definitely not bad if one can understand and define his/her life. Well after the most colourful and bright days of one’s life, comes the harsh reality –  job and career. For the rest of one’s life, one has to work and work and work, unless you take a career break or a sabbatical.  But then people like me who cannot sit at home and wile away time, would prefer working rather than just relaxing!

While all the gyan in the world about work and career sounds good and sometimes great, the truth is, it all boils down to how the organization functions and even more vital – how your teamlead or immediate boss is going to be. I know of many people including self, who have had and continue to have a dreadful time at their work place (now I have no complains as I am blessed with a good boss ). Sad but true, your immediate boss or teamlead can either make your work place heaven or hell. But then since I too was a victim, I thought of at least 10 things freshers can do to tackle or escape the catastrophe at work place

  1. FIRST IMPRESSION – First impression is the most important, so do your best to have not just good but great impression on your teamlead
  2. OBSERVE – Observe and keep your eyes and ears open all the time. Observe the reactions your teamlead throws at things and avoid the circumstance which will bring your boss’s fury on you. For eg, if your boss is punctual, don’t just be on time, be before time, it will surely impress him/her
  3. HOMEWORK – Do that extra bit  of work. While it is said that your initial days at work is your honeymoon period, make the most of it and read up about the clients and the industry or else update yourself by reading news. This will help you answer questions when asked and will portray you as a person who is serious about her/his career. (Don’t you of course want that!)
  4. DIPLOMACY – Choose your words and be extra careful in what you say. One wrong sentence can land you into trouble for the rest of the term in the organization. (Like the famous proverb, “tongue is boneless, so let it not slip)
  5. NEVER CRITICIZE – Well you are like an ant in front of your elephant boss. Never ever make the mistake of criticizing your boss. Even if your boss says it is raining on a sunny day, just nod your head in agreement and smile. Bosses don’t like to be criticized, coz they have ego as huge as the Himalayas and think whatever they say is the word of God. When you are at the base camp of Himalayas, you can’t even think of criticizing
  6. GOSSIP – DO NOT INDULGE IN GOSSIPING. It will land you only in trouble. Just avoid people or groups, even though it may be tempting and exciting. Keep yourself miles away from it
  7. DILIGENCE – If you put in your best effort it will obviously reflect in your work. Your diligence at work will be a great thing to get you a reward
  8. RECORD OF WORK- Keep a record of all your work, contributions and tasks on a day to day basis. Will help you and will be your saving grace if your senior is b****y. Your boss will know what you are upto and will appreciate it
  9. THIRST FOR LEARNING – Every boss or teamlead likes to give gyan and share their experiences (even if it is crappy). So don’t hesitate to go upto them and ask for work and curiosity to learn or display your hunger for knowledge. It will all do the work of impressing and impressing the boss
  10. TEAM PLAYER – There may or could be a person in your team who is the devil, is jealous or insecure. Just play safe and do not ever get trapped. If the person tries to play dirty, be the innocent angel and you will escape. Displaying the quality of a team player is extremely essential for you to stick around for a long time in the organization

Well not necessary that the above things will 100 percent help you. At times your teamlead or senior might be extremely difficult. In that case if goes beyond limit, HR will come to your rescue. Because the best of teamleads or bosses need to showcase their abilities to the HR.

However, all said and done it is a mix of your talent, skill, luck, power of will and determination.

 
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Posted by on July 19, 2011 in Boss, organization, work

 

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My Little Alisha completes a month with us :)

I put us this up as my status message a few days ago on my gmail and within a couple of minutes I was flooded with congratulation messages and friends asking when did you have a baby? I just laughed out aloud….Well the message is misleading 😛 Especially with a name like Alisha 🙂 Thanks to my husband who christened our little kitten with that name 🙂 Animal lover that I am (and thankfully so is my husband), one day I was about to leave for work when I heard a kitten crying her lungs out. I just couldn’t resist and started looking from where was the sound coming. I saw a man holding this bruised little kitten by neck and about to throw her somewhere. I just grabbed her and asked the man if I could keep her. He was more than happy to give her away 🙂 And thus I had my little Alisha who has become a part of our family. Well with all her madness and naughtiness she is the apple of our eyes and oh yes, she gets bored of milk, loves curd and wants variety in food, or else just refuses to eat. Here are a few pictures of my naughty little Alisha 🙂

 
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Posted by on July 1, 2011 in family

 

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Dear departed soul

It has been eighteen years and three months that I last saw you. Been so many years but I can still hear the echo of your laughter, the sparkle in your eyes every time I close mine and think about you. Still remember your charm and feel the warmth that your spread. You made quite an impression on me even if we met each other for just a few years. Though you’ve been gone for so long, you are always on my mind.

When you left for your heavenly abode I dint understand the meaning of death and had never even imagined that I will never be seeing you again. You left a void that no one could ever fill. The world had changed for me.kept waiting for years, thinking you will come and pick me up in your arms and it will all be the same again. But little did I realize that I was never going to see you. For years to come it was all about discovering and adapting to the most testing situations. You were no more there in person, but only in pictures. Wanted to hear your voice so badly at times but it seemed to fade away. Strangely graveyard started becoming a place which gave me solace. That once in a while meeting you felt like the best time I could have. So much peace, so much to catch up on, so many things to tell you, so many things to complain about. Love every bit of the tranquility in the conversations we have. So what if they are monologues, I know you are hearing them all.

I am sure you have been watching me all the while and know my deepest of secrets. In my growing up years, your better half always referred to you as the brightest star in the moonlit night watching me and saying hello with a broad smile. I still look at the brightest star and say hello. I often ask God, will I ever get to meet you? And he sends you in my dreams :). I haven’t heard from you for quite some time now. Hope to see you soon and catch up on so many things. Till then take care.

 
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Posted by on June 9, 2011 in death, graveyard, soul

 

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Yet another Award..wow

Yes I am humbled to received yet another award for my blog and I want to thank Khanum for awarding me 🙂

And I now present to you my award 🙂

 

 
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Posted by on May 31, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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