I was wondering for quite a few days as to how do I start this post……What made me ponder so much was the fact that I am going to write about my experience which brought about a lot of change in me, my perspective and my thought alignment!
Enthusiasm, fun, challenges, adventures and craziness are few characteristics that could be inborn or acquired qualities in my growing years…..Perhaps being competitive & also being a performer rather than a participant or a spectator in school and then college led my behavioral pattern to be the same even when I entered the corporate world. Of course it is Darwin’s theory ‘survival of the fittest’, and everyone who desires success would thrive on that theory. To quote a very simple example, amongst the new born pups or kittens, only the ones who can push the others and have maximum milk from their mother are the healthiest and survive, whereas everyone gets an equal opportunity to have milk.
But then we are of course the most intelligent beings on earth and we do it all the time but very subtly! As I entered the corporate world and exactly knew what I wanted to do and how I wanted to shape my career, I too jumped into the rat race of competition and performance…..The entry was pretty smooth and I could easily manage completing the tasks assigned, meeting deadlines, performing much beyond expectations etc…..Felt all the more kicked when I got my first promotion within 7 months of joining! There was no looking back! But then rightly said ‘Life is not a bed of roses’ and soon enough I too faced the music where I had no clue how to dance….
Things went from bad to worse in my profession, the place I loved to go every day and dint know what Monday blues were, gave me jitters. My passion for job turned into tension and fear! I was still performing, but not enjoying and was constantly under pressure….I had scummed to Stress…..When I read articles on stress being the second largest killer disease in the world, where 11 per 10000 people were affected by stress, I would wonder what is it that people can’t have control over their minds? But after the 4 months of stress I realized how dangerous and fatal it can be. It is like a slow poison rotating in your body!
My confidence was shaken, I would have palpitation, get a cold feeling in my heart, and to top it all had hospitals rounds every damn month! I had no clue what was happening to me. I loved my previous organization, but then it came to a point where I just wanted to run away from the office. I finally quit my job and joined a new organization. That is of course not the solution. But then I have joined an organization which has better people.
It was just a couple of days back when I went to collect my reports, fed up of the pricks (which rose from every month to almost every alternate week) when this doctor told me that I was undergoing sever stress and if I dint care of it I would have to see a psychiatrist or a counselor. For a while I was in a state of shock. How could I of all the people have such a sustained problem of STRESS…..The doctor was considerate enough to explain me how stress can ruin my life and health and how important it is to indulge in destressing and non-competitive hobby or feel good things. And above all, how important it is to let go things and be ok if you are not always the best performer….
Realization dawned upon me! I understood that nothing is more important than being happy and having mental peace. Everything will fall in place……
I wrote this post because I am sure there would be end number of young professionals who would be going through such similar experiences or even worst. One doesn’t have to prove to the world what his/her potential to achieve is…..If one is loyal to oneself the world will know! And any organization doesn’t care for its employees, all that matters to an organization is profit! And last but not the least have faith in God and yourself.