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Does proximity really matter?

19 May

Humans that we are it is in our blood and nature to share our thoughts and feelings with someone or some people we are close to. (here I don’t mean just physically close)…..Who can keep things in a closet especially when you are extremely happy, achieved something,something exciting happening in your life, unpleasant things, when life’s ruthless, times when nothing seems to be going right…Well these are so routine things! Apart from this there could be things you would want to talk about probably….If you have slapped a guy, back answered or insulted your boss, asked a guy/girl out, had a sad date,  your jaw dropped when you saw a handsome guy and then you dropped when he spoke something, etc….

But here is something I have been doing since probably my high school. Well I was a complete tomboy in school, was an athlete and was big time into sports, so my core attention would be sports, extra curricular activities and yes studies also….Fortunately I had brains enough not to mug up things, could fare well in exams even if I studied the last moment which was anyways the case….Because of all these things I dint have much time for boys at that point in time…all my friends would be like either hitting on boys or being hit on……and then they would come to me with their heartbreak stories, or how to enhance their relationship, or how to break up etc….Well I was and I am very good at solving problems or rather giving them solutions which can be implemented…..

That was high school and thus somehow I became a person who people rely blindly on and come with all of their issues…..Now this is something that was a little weird for me to resolve and I am yet to come up with a solution for one of my very good friends. May sound very silly and trivial but thus it is…..My friend loves chatting on the net and she religiously does that every single day….One fine day she happen to chat with a stranger, a guy she had never met nor knew or heard from before….She started chatting as just another thing and now before she could realize, she kinda has got attached to him. Now here the issue is that she has never met the guy before, but yes has spoken to him…..He lives abroad and she in India…According to her he seems to be a decent guy but then she does n’t know where it is leading her to….Ya the most simple solution the obvious thing would be she shouldn’t have entertained him in the first place. Now that we cannot undo things, what she feels is she may fall in love with that guy. So in the first instance I told her, stop talking to that guy. How does it matter when you know you are not going to meet him in the near future…..According to her even if she stops talking to him, she says she has started missing him and is getting attached to him with every passing day…Now to add to her misery, she doesnt know if the guy feels the same way as she does and is absolutely clueless as to what has he on his mind for her, apart from the fact that he finds her intelligent,  sweet, geniun and caring.

Well I am still to figure out as to how to get her out of this situation, but then I was wondering, many a times we feel or believe that we can relate to a person only if the person is in physical proximity….But then, I also know of my friends and acquaintances who have fallen in love through social networking sites and today are happily married….So my dilemma here is as to what to advice her, to get over it and move on in life or to go with the flow till the guy expresses whats on his mind!

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10 responses to “Does proximity really matter?

  1. Eye-in-sty-in

    May 20, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    Your friend was swept off her feet even when she has not seen or met the guy? wow! Why dont i meet such women online … 😛 That’s quite a deliema… I have never been in this situation before so I better not try to help your friend… and as it is, i’m known to complicate things .. lol – you can see my blog title if you dont believe me… 😀

     
  2. Ava

    May 21, 2009 at 2:24 am

    This is complicated. Of course she has to shelve her feelings till she really gets to meet him IRL. Until then, she can just enjoy the chats and that it.

     
  3. Valerine

    May 21, 2009 at 3:55 am

    Hi EISI…..Not that she was swept off her feet……Well just that i think she needs to divert her mind & concentrate on sumthing else n chat as if jst another thing….

    Hi Ava….Thx for the suggestion……..I told her same thing ..that she shud’nt jump to any conclusion till the time she meets the guy!

     
  4. sujit

    May 21, 2009 at 4:21 am

    Why dont u just.. ask her to send ur.. blog link to the guy.. so u can tell him about te story… : )

    The practical suggestion would be… ask her what does she want.. from the guy first… make it clear.. whether she just wants to be friends or take it forward……..

    get the guys number.. speak to the guy.. unless u talk u never get things out in da open between people… nip the situation in da bud.. speak to him.. and find out….

    al the best guys & girls….

     
  5. Valerine

    May 21, 2009 at 4:54 am

    Hey Sujith…tx for the suggestion….well i pass on ur msg to her! 🙂

     
  6. Eye-in-sty-in

    May 21, 2009 at 7:53 am

    Well there you go. looks like you already have a solution to give your friend 🙂 looks like you just needed to bounce the idea off of someone… Boy she sure is lucky to have such a devoted friend like you…! Make sure she gives you a nice big treat for all the trouble ur taking for her…

     
  7. Valerine

    May 21, 2009 at 8:49 am

    Well EISI……i think true friends are made to be there for u when u need them….

     
  8. manish

    May 26, 2009 at 6:44 am

    Best way out of it is type a email telling everything she is feeling either it will go to the next level or stop so the matter will be solved

    required here are some guts on her part to get her out of the misery

    PS:Urgently immediatly type a mail to him

     
  9. Valerine

    May 26, 2009 at 10:05 am

    Well Manish tx….I shall pass on the message to her 🙂

     
  10. Spike

    July 7, 2009 at 4:01 am

    btw, what if ur friend finds another guy??? what abt this guy then?

     

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